Gorgeous Guest Post By Erin Williams
We all have an image in our minds of our ideal lives. We all know how we want our lives to look and feel. Yet, far too often, something stops us from making our dreams a reality. The two main culprits: a lack of self-confidence and a belief that we aren’t worthy of living our ideal life. And both of these manifest in the form of fear.
I talk a lot about yoga and the way it has deeply changed my life (and I know Amanda does too). But you know what? I wanted to try yoga for at least a year before I made my way to a yoga studio. The reason why it took me so long to find myself on the mat? I was scared and didn’t have the confidence to try something new. I was too worried about what other people would think and if I would look stupid.
Given the impact yoga has had on my life, it’s troubling to think that I almost missed out on this experience due to a lack of confidence. If I hadn’t spent time building my confidence and self-worth my life would be so different. And certainly not for the better.
So this is your wake-up call, or that gentle nudge that you need – Don’t let fear stop you from the amazing things that are waiting for you in your dream life. You have the power to turn your dreams into reality.
Here are my favourite ways to start feeling confident, so that you can live the life of your dreams.
1. Confidence starts with getting crystal clear on what you want, and then break down what’s stopping you from getting it.
Grab your journal and a pen, and find a quiet space where you have time and space to think. You can light your favourite candles or have some soft music playing in the background. Get comfy and then ask yourself the following questions:
What is it that you really want to do? Maybe it’s to get out of your comfort zone and into a yoga studio. Maybe it’s starting a blog. Or quitting your job and travelling for 6 months. It could be anything.
What’s stopping you from doing this right now? What are your afraid of? Maybe you’re worried that you will fail. Maybe you think you will look stupid, can’t afford it, or maybe you’re just worried about what other people think.
Picture yourself a year from now. How would you feel if your life was exactly the same and you hadn’t made any progress towards your dreams?
Picture yourself again a year from now. This time you did it (congrats, you’re living or getting close to achieving your dreams)! Now what would your future self say to you? What advice would she offer and what kind words of wisdom would she impart? Maybe she is proud that you stepped out of your comfort zone. She is amazed by how far you’ve come. How brave you were. How much fun, or growth, or laughter you’ve had on the way. Maybe she would simply say ‘Wow, babe. I love you’.
2. Create your own self-love ritual.
I am a huge fan of having a morning routine and including some self-love practices in my mornings. Not only does it set the tone for my day but it helps me to feel confident and believe that I am worthy.
I love affirmations. My favourites are saying ‘I love you’ and smiling at my reflection, and ‘trust and believe in yourself and anything is possible’. I also body brush before I get in the shower and use a fantastic smelling body lotion afterwards. When you feel good in your body, you will start to feel good about it too. I also start each day journaling, writing a gratitude list, and reconnecting with my core-desired feelings. (Checkout Danielle LaPorte if you haven’t heard of your Core Desired Feelings before).
Spend some time carefully crafting your own self-love rituals. Maybe it’s affirmations or journaling, or taking a hot bath at the end of the day, swimming in the ocean, or keeping a running list of everything you’ve done that you are proud of. Find something that makes you feel good, that helps you connect to your inner wisdom or intuition, and generates feelings of self-love for you.
3. Spend some time in stillness
To me, when I spend time in stillness and meditation I feel like I am coming home. I feel grounded and connected and switched on. My stress and anxiety levels drop and I feel ready to tackle whatever life throws at me. I cannot recommend stillness enough. It is a major game changer. It will help you to get comfortable with your thoughts and your fears. It will encourage you to get out of your comfort zone, because the ‘what-ifs’ that lay on the other side of the cliff will seem less scary. It will heighten your gut instincts, so you know when you’re heading in the right direction. And, it will help you connect to yourself and your inner strength.
4. Let go of perfectionism and stop people pleasing
No one can ever be perfect, yet so many of us chase perfection in everything we do. And you can never make everyone like you, so in order to build up your self-worth and confidence, it’s time to stop trying to.
Let go of things that don’t light you up. Start to practice saying ‘yes’ to those things that excite you, that give you butterflies and that make you feel good. Start saying ‘no’ to things that fill you with dread, or don’t align with how you want to feel. You don’t need to please everyone. At the end of the day, only you need to feel good about the choices and decisions you have made. When you let go of people pleasing and start acting in a self-pleasing way (note: this is not the same as selfish) then you will become more and more confident in voicing your opinions, and marching to the beat of your own drum.
Remember, “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”
5. Surround yourself with people who support and encourage you
Sometimes we all need a little helping hand and the best way to do that is by asking for help. If there’s something that I’m really worried or scared about doing, I know I can turn to my boyfriend or my friends for some advice. They will always boost me back up and make me realise that I can do anything I put my mind to. If you’re feeling particularly unsure of yourself, then turn to these people on your life. Before too long you will feel supported, encouraged, brave and confident.
Once you start feeling confident within yourself and start to believe in your self-worth, you will be able to take steps (and sometimes leaps) towards living your dream life. Now is the time to start building your confidence and your self-worth. Your dream life is waiting!
About our Gorgeous Guest
Erin Williams is a passionate self-love advocate and inspired explorer. She believes that the key to true wellness and happiness lies at the meeting point of health and spirituality. And that we need presence and stillness in order to feel ALIVE.
Erin writes at In Our Stillness. Her blog combines her love of the written word with her curiosity for the world we live in. She encourages women to ditch the diet, ditch the scales, and instead start to define their own wellness and self-care practices, so that they can fully embrace life and uncover their inner spark. Connect further with Erin on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram @_inourstillness.
What beautiful words on self-confidence that Erin has to share! If you enjoyed this post, please check out her gorgeous website and new logo! Do you have any stories to share with us on how you overcame your fears and boosted your self-confidence? I would love to hear from you!