Do you ever find yourself wishing that your existing relationships with family, friends, work colleagues and your partner were easier? Are you sick of the drama that certain people create in your life, particularly when it makes you dread going to work? Do you hate engaging in gossip and negative discussions that drag you down? I am sure most us will answer yes to these questions.
…have you ever considered if YOU are responsible for creating the drama? If you are like me, probably not!
I had the pleasure of attending a Goddess Group last night held by the gorgeous Melissa Ambrosini, and yet again the topic was exactly what I needed (she has an uncanny way of knowing!). Melissa shared with us how to call in our soul sisters and cultivate divine relationships with our partners, family and friends. Don’t get me wrong, I have amazing friends and my husband is THE BEST (love you babe!). However giving those relationships my best loving energy is something I struggle with at times. I can certainly admit that I have caused drama and arguments that were totally unnecessary based on a careless remark (not proud).
Last night was a wake up call for me. I came to the realisation that any drama or negative energy in my relationships with others simply has to do with me. Yes, that’s right. Me. What I had failed to consider was that whe someone triggers me, it is because I have not considered THE OTHER SIDE.
When you think about it more, everyone is doing the best they can, given their unique ‘operating system’, as Melissa likes to call it. So what really makes my operating system better than others?
With a new found awareness that it all starts with my own thoughts and expectations, here is what I learned about how to create divine relationships, both existing and new:
1: Let go of the stories. Let go of expectations.
Expectations ruin relationships. This is so true!
Despite the fact that gossiping or whinging feels yucky, why do we keep doing it? It is because our mean girl (or boy) feeds off drama and gossip. Expecting great things from others means that we can deflect blame from ourselves. It’s addictive that’s for sure.
Being aware of the stories is the first step. Any time you start to get involved in the negative stories – both your mean girl’s or others, you need to gently close the door on them. The quicker the better.
Letting go of the stories and expectations is your opportunity to choose loving thoughts and see the situation from another perspective. Before you know it, the story dissipates. You no longer place unfair expectations on others to fulfil your own needs.
Just remember, we have tens of thousands of thoughts each and every day, so the process of letting go is ongoing. For this reason, it is important not to beat ourselves up when we do let the story carry on for a while. It will get easier!
2: Create space for relationships.
Letting go of the old stories allows you to call in divine relationships. Why? Because you will have the perfect space to cultivate them.
So often we fill our weekends and spare time with mindless activities such as watching tv and scrolling social media, pretending that we are “relaxing” or focussing on our “self-care”. However we could be spending this precious time trying new things, meeting new people and paying attention to our surroundings.
Have you ever arrived at a destination and not remembered the journey because you were glued to your phone? Or worse, did you just finish your coffee at a cafe and not even taste it because you were engrossed in Instagram?
It is time we put our phones down and started being more present. You might just meet your new best friend sitting at the table next to you!
3: Get clear on what you desire. Then show up in the same way.
The universe has a way of giving us exactly what we ask for, so we need to be very clear as to what type of relationships we truly want in our lives.
Do you want work colleagues who bring happiness to your day in the office? Do you want a friend who inspires, uplifts and encourages you to be your best self? Or do you want a friend to have a laugh with? Do you want a partner that treats you like a princess, or pushes you to be independent?
Whatever you desire in a relationship, you need to put it out into the universe.
How do you do this? Be that very person you desire in others. Inspire yourself. Give yourself the love and kindness you deserve. Learn to laugh and be comfortable in your own company. Be a shining light that attracts only the best relationships.
….Don’t forget to look up!
You may just see something you have never seen before.
See every challenging relationship as a way to experience new ways of thinking. The more we remind ourselves that everyone is doing the best they can with what they have, the easier it is to let negative energy go and focus on cultivating loving thoughts that attract the relationships we desire.
I know I have a lot to work on, but I am excited about what the future holds. I hope you are too!
I would love to learn more about what divine relationships you want to create in your life. Leave a comment below!